Monday, July 16, 2012


Friendship used to be easily defined... before Facebook. Now friendship is a little more complicated. I have over 500 friends on Facebook. Am I really friends with all these people? Of course not. Most are simply acquaintances, some are relatives, a few are people I have never even met, and some are relatives I have never met!

So what defines a true friend? Well, I looked at several definitions and decided that indeed, there are different kinds of friends. I have three female friends who I consider my best friends. They are the ones who get to see my soul naked. I don't hide any of the ugliness from them, and they love me anyway. They know my deep dark secrets, and don't think less of me for it. I hope they know who they are before reading this, but I will share a little about them. 

The first is older than me, in fact she has a daughter almost my age. She is a year or two older than my brother, so no, she isn't a mother figure to me. She has been there for me during some rough times. We don't see each other as often as we should. But when we do it is as if no time has passed at all. I love her dearly, and I swear she is ageless. We have argued and been mad at each other...and none of that has ever mattered. We worked side by side in an office for 3 years and managed not to kill each other! That alone speaks of the depth of our friendship.

The second is about my age. She is a friend I see frequently. She keeps me on track, calls me out if I need it. And I will do the same for her. If I stumble, she is the one to tell me to get back up. We have laughed together and cried together. We have traveled together! We have known each other for over 20 years, but the closeness of our friendship is somewhat more recent. God's timing is ever perfect, and I think we became close friends by His design.

The third is young enough to be my daughter...and I have known her every second of her life. From the ages of 10 through 17, if you had told me she would one day be my very best friend, I would have laughed. This girl who shared my personality drove me crazy when she was a child. But then something amazing happened...she grew up, and became my rock. She knows me better than anyone has ever known me. More than that...she understands me...which I am sure my husband, even after 35 years as a couple, does not!  I loved my own mother dearly, but never did we have this particular kind of relationship. 

I found the following definition of a friend in the Urban Dictionary. I thought it fit exactly how I feel about these three, very special, women.

A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn't have to talk to communicate with you.

A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.

A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don't even think about who's talking or who's listening in a conversation with a friend.

A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn't matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower.

God bless these wonderful women!

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