A Baby Changes Everything

I am having a lot of difficulty with today’s post. Not because it is a hard subject to address, or because it is personally painful. No, it is simply I don’t know where to begin. In less than 2 weeks my husband will be working in the Oklahoma City area. We originally thought that by now I would be preparing to move with him. Ah, the best laid plans of mice and men…

When we first discovered that his job was to be transferred we had some big decisions to make. Would he accept the transfer offer? Or leave Boeing and try to find other employment in a Wichita economy that was not in an upswing. Would he commute on the weekends? Renting a studio apartment in OKC and driving the 2½ hours back to Derby each weekend. Or would we jump in with both feet, and leave a town we had both been raised in, and move? Leaving our married children, an elderly father, and a church we loved behind.

At first we both liked the commuting idea, but then I felt this was selfish on my part. My husband has 3½ years before early retirement is an option. That did not seem so bad, but the reality was that staying with Boeing until full retirement age made the most sense. Commuting for 13 to 15 years? Not a pretty picture. So moving it was…until December.

By December we were pretty discouraged. Only one offer had been made on our home, and it had been a joke. We felt we had chosen the wrong realtor, the wrong time to sell, and were trying desperately to understand God’s plan for us. My daughter admonished me at one point for my lack of faith, saying “The buyer isn’t ready yet.” At this point we began making plans for my husband to move without me. A prospect that worried me as I depended on him to help me with things my back wouldn’t allow me to accomplish on my own.

Well, as always, God is sovereign. On a December evening we received the joyful news that we were to become grandparents! My daughter was unexpectedly pregnant! While happy, they were concerned. They had hoped to be in a larger home before having children, in fact they often commented they wished they had a large enough down payment to buy our home. No one remembers who mentioned it first, but suddenly the idea was flying around the room. Move in here, sell your home, and save for the down payment needed. My husband would commute for the time being and I would remain here.

It is not a solution for everybody, and six weeks later there have been a few little bumps…mostly dealing with having 2 extra dogs in the household. But I believe it is the ideal solution for us. Everybody was on board, and in fact excited about the changes. We all feel prayers have been answered. My daughter and son-in-law will be able to provide me the help I need, while in return I get to help with a little one.

Think we are making a mistake? This will ruin our relationships? Wait for my next post…you might be surprised what the research shows. ~Marla

Home is a Stage?

There are women out there who actually enjoy cleaning. I know this because I have met them. In fact, I have actually become friends with some of them, despite our philosophical differences. I do clean, but purely on an as needed basis. The toilet gets cleaned when it starts to look dirty. My bathroom counter gets cleaned when my hand starts to become inadvertently stuck to it due to hairspray build up. My floor is swept when the dog fur becomes an eyesore. The kitchen is the only area I attack on a daily basis, and even then you may see some clean dishes stacked awaiting placement in an upper cabinet.

This week all that changes. Putting your house on the market is like having guests over 24/7. Hiding toothbrushes and other personal items in drawers, wiping down every surface you can find, cleaning toilets and sinks daily, and following the dogs around the house with a vacuum in hand. Heaven forbid that your home looks like someone is actually living in it!

If you have not sold a home recently, and you are not a frequent viewer of HGTV, TLC, and other cable networks, then you may be unaware of the term “staging” in reference to a home. Having a clean home to show is no longer enough, now it must be “staged.” This means moving half of your furniture into storage, clearing all surfaces, and removing most wall hangings. It is basically a mini moving experience before you have even sold your home. One item per surface is ideal…so the alarm clock and the Kleenex box vie for position on my bedside table. The alarm clock wins…after all, we wouldn’t someone to think we actually blow our noses in our house!

Now I do understand where this is coming from, really I do. In my last post I made some jabs at dirty kitchens and walls that hold collections of crosses. Those types of things are distracting; they draw the eye away from the more important features of the home. They also are the main thing you remember about the home. When someone has looked at ten homes and they are trying to recall details of each, I would prefer they recall the vaulted ceiling in the family room instead of being remembered as the house with the weird statue in the hallway.

On the other hand, I have no problem looking at homes that have nice decorative touches throughout. These things speak of how the people that live there have made it more than just a house; they have made it a home. It makes me think I could make it feel like home as well. I hope I have achieved that balance. After all, as my husband keeps saying…we still have to live here; for now.

~Marla

This Old House

After months of sprucing up, it is ready. Our house goes on the market next week. When we first moved here 11 years ago, it was out of necessity, not desire. We were content in the quad level we called home. We had lived there for 8 years, our children's elementary years were spent in the house with the beautiful sunroom, nice deck, and a yard big enough to play soccer in. The soaring vaulted ceiling in the sunroom had held huge hand chopped Christmas trees, and multiple party's had been held there. It was hard to leave that house with so many good memories inside.

Our move was short, less than one mile away. The house was large and rambling compared to our compact quad. A ranch style home with a finished basement sitting on a quiet cul-de-sac. Our belongings could not begin to fill the home...but we were not moving alone. My mother was coming to live with us, and that was the reason for the move. We needed a larger home, and a ranch style instead of a quad with multiple levels. We were looking for a house with two living areas on the main level, and it was the only house for sale in our town that fit that criteria.

The house needed some TLC, but was certainly large enough. My mother had her own areas, and that was important. She had her own living room, the master bedroom and bath, and even a guest room. Because the home was so large we still had our own living area, bedroom and bath upstairs, as well as a full bath, bedroom, and family room in the basement. There was also a very large game room downstairs that became our sons bedroom. 

Mom did not stay with us long in the house before her health deteriorated further and she needed 24/7 assistance. The assisted living was only 3 blocks away, so visits were frequent and included visits from our dog. Mom loved to show her off to the other residents, putting her through her repertoire of tricks, the favorite being the command "Bang", to which she would promptly fall to her back.

Somehow over the years, we managed to keep the house full, even as our children grew up and moved out. My most precious memories are in this house. Memories of my children decked out for prom. My son celebrating his high school football career at a surprise party in his honor. My daughter and her new husband opening wedding gifts with both families gathered round. My mother making soup at the stove.

 This old house has been very special to us, and as we prepare to let it go...I say...thanks for the memories old friend.


~Marla