I promised in my last post to give you a little more insight
to the growing trend of multigenerational families. First let me say, this is
not my first experience living in a multigenerational home.
When we moved into our current home in 2001 it was
specifically in order to move my mother in with us. Her health was failing and
we felt she needed additional care. We found this home to be ideal for two
families living together. With 3 living areas, 4 bedrooms, 3 full baths, a HUGE
storage room, and a large game room that could really be whatever we needed it
to be, the home could easily accommodate several people without feeling like we
were constantly bumping into one another.
Our experience was one I will always cherish. I loved having
my mom with me. My husband, always gracious, enjoyed it as well. Our children
learned an important lesson about sacrificing for the ones we love and taking
care of our elders. In fact my daughter often talks of the impact it had on her
growing up, watching me take care of my mother. This is something she wants to
instill in her own children…a love of family. I admit that I am honored my
children want to be physically close to us as adults.
But what do the experts say about this? Surely it can’t be
good for our relationships to all be under one roof! Well, actually, it can be.
Studies show that 75% to 80% of families find they actually grow closer and
have better relationships in a multi-generational household. Why? The following
excerpt from Ladies Home Journal may provide some insight.
In a multigenerational household, seniors find respite from
loneliness, kids learn history firsthand, and those sandwiched in between get
reliable childcare, help with bills and chores -- and a little less squeezed by
modern life. "They're realizing families are stronger together than
apart," says Donna Butts, executive director of Generations United, a
Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit that focuses on intergenerational cooperation.
So what are we doing to make this work for us?
·
We sat down and discussed how things would work
ahead of time. This included designation of living areas, private areas, chore
delegation, parking, how bills would be divided, etc.
·
We wrote it all down! Yes, we have a “Roommate
Agreement” a la Big Bang Theory! Actually it helps prevent misunderstandings
and serves as a resource if something comes up at a later date.
·
We have designated private areas. We have private
bedrooms and bathrooms for each “family.”
·
We have designated living areas for each “family.”
This allows for personal decorating and even added privacy.
·
We respect each other’s privacy. We knock. As
parents, my husband and I are more than happy to have our kids plunk down on a
sofa and watch TV with us. But I always ask before doing the same with them. As
a younger couple, without children, they are used to a little more privacy.
·
We have a designated cook…me! Luckily I love to
cook and am happy to do it. I post a menu and try to stick to it. Of course my
son-in-law likes to grill, so that will give me some nice breaks in warmer
weather.
·
We communicate. I am working on this one…but
generally things should be addressed immediately to avoid further problems.
The list above is not at all
conclusive, but it does give a little insight to how we are handling our
changing lifestyle. Keep an eye out and I will post updates occasionally on how
we are doing.
~Marla